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Monday, June 30, 2008
5:33:00 PM
IN SCHOOL WAITING FOR MY ARCHERY TO START. STILL HAVE 1 and 1/2 hours to GO!sianz... sigh.. she today sent me a sms says that her mum scolded her and ask her to behave herself. sigh. den now.. ended that i cant sms her le, and wad i can do now is to wait for her to sms me which means that the situation has cooled down.. but i think that, everythings isnt going to end that fast.. sigh. me one day not smsing her, my heart really feel like stopping at times. how i wish i can travel to the past and the future. and if i were to have a wish, its to have no feelings. sigh. i admit that although i do not know her long enough, but i still have the feelings for her. sigh. i know maybe i am not a very gd person, thats why everytime i really want to have a serious relationship, God would not it have in my way. sigh. i am feeling so miserable. when i receive the sms, i really felt like crying. sigh. though i stoned on my bed for that few mins, i still cant accept the fact that i cant sms her anymore le.. argh! to me is so heartbreaking to read a sms. sigh. throughout yesterday night, i did not sleep well. although i lie on my bed at 12 plus, but i did not really sleep for even 30 mins. sigh. every few mins, i would just take my fone under my pillow and look at it, still no response. i know she is asleep, but i was so hoping that a miracle will happen, that she wakes up in a middle of the night to reply me. sigh.. but in the end nth. although until 7am, i still did not sleep, and when i just about to switch on my laptop, she smsed me. sigh. to tell me not to sms her le. sigh, God, why must you torture me in this way when you know that i have been waiting for her sms and yet the sms i get in return is a most discouraging one? sigh. i just hope i can get her sms real soon.
every min of waiting makes my heart stop for awhile. i wonder when den my heart will stop for good and i will also leave this world for good. maybe we are fated not to be together. sigh. but i know this time my feelings for you is real. sigh. forget it le. everything to me now is just an illusion. wad i can do to console myself is to kept telling lies to myself. i guess this is the only way for the best solution to solve everything. sigh.
Labels: the higher i fall., the higher my hopes