♥ Welcome
Sunday, March 18, 2007
9:21:00 AM
wah...so long didnt come in and write le..hais...really busy wif so many things..school work espescially....hais....most of the times i reach home..i use the com will only know how to open the dota program..hais..i really felt that i was so lazy because i really didnt want to type..but since today today i cant even find a game to play...hais...den i decided to come in and write a long one..hais...i really dunno i have hais for how many times..but sometimes i really think that i hais is because i am sad?hais...but no one will know de la..its better for everyone..so people wont have to worry me...then i also wont cause and troubles to people around me..hais..but come to think of it..actually i wanted to sae sorry to 3 WOMEN in my life.coz they matters to me alot.yah.basically these 3 are mh kel and miss yew.hais..i think the 3 of them since that incident,they have changed the impression of me.coz of wad i have done,i have lost their trust and confidence in me.maybe i should nt done it.hais.but wad is done is done.but i really wan to sae sorry to them.even tough they may know or may not know how much they matter to me,but they are the girls which i think tt really will change my heart if they spoke to me..because the 3 are nt my gd friends.to me they are best friends.hais..i know although sometimes miss yew online...but she like nvr talk to me in msn le..hais..but nvm..at least she would give me some english assessment to do.i really feel touched that night when she went down to help me to select the question for me.looks like i really cant dissappoint her...i muz get an A1 for my english.i aim for it and i believe the end result i get would determines how much i have put in the effort or rather to put in another way...how much my friends and teachers have helped me.hais..then now to kelly,i know u muz know that that time during the incident..someone or who which i dunno,muz have told you how much i hate you...but actually.i regretted.yahz..i should nt blame you as you are my really really gd friend.i felt blessed.yahz.sorry for the words that hurt you..hais....den now..lastly mh..know why i say her last?its not because the best is save for the last,is because i know that if she sees this and see that why i sae her first..she might think.....yahz...i needn't spell it out.at least this would make her feed better...i know she is feeluing very very depressed..despite need to put a happy face to let ppl see..because she is a cl?hahax..but i really think she is nt as happy as b4..because of the thigns that happen to her...plus me everytime irritate her wif my sms...30 over smses per day...hais...i have decided le..yahz..i wouldn't sms you so many le..i have limted myself a maximum of 5 sms for you everyday..if there is a need..hais..if you happen to see this post..yahz..there's something that i really wan to tell you.."i know you are unhappy sometimes about the way you living or wad...and i know that sms i sent you have hurt you alot..i know you will know which sms i meant..i know that you really wan to care for me as a friend...but do you know that its very hard for me to accept you as a friend.its not i dun wan...its i cant..i been keep having the feelings for you which its really cant be explained...i know i want to called it love..but those who read this would nt agree..because i am still young...hais..nvm..juz wan to tell you that you MUZ live a life for yourself.yah..and take care of yourself..although i will nt send those sms to care for you..but in my heart i will still care for you..if you gt anything you can just sms..i am willing to lend you my ears and shoulders for 24/7..i know that its really impossible for you to like me..hais..nvm..but you will be in my deepest memory forever.." haha....this 3 person have really sort of impacted me since that incident...because i can see how they would react...i know my relationship wif them is nt like the past..because of wad i did have encrypted a scar in them.hais...THEN now...haha..guys..i have 4 best friend in my life..because they really go through wif me alot of times..i will nvr forget them..yah..because i am a guy who really treats my friends very well...haha=.= they would be ben alvan elvis jerome..lolx..i go by register number..because this does nt show any rank in among the 4 of you..AND THE & OF YOU ARE THE 1ST IN MY LIFE..(UNRANKED)...hahax...shall start wif ben..ben..i know that our friendship were not that close anymore..its also since that incident..hais..i really enjoy the times with you riding and going out...shopping..pool..movies...still miss the time where kel me and ben would watch movie together..haha..its been quite alot of times during a period of time..hahax...he is really a nice person to mix with..hahax..no regrets.he is also very happy go lucky...hahax..may our relationship would be better den last time.. :)den now...to alvan..hmm..i really sorry for wad i did..i know that incident i had threaten to fight wif you..but..that time i was really very angry and sad over something le..plus..do you know everytime you wif mh..i dun feel good?because my best friend between the girl i like...hais..but i chose nt to say it out to you all because i know u all would sae i think too much...hais..alvan..i really wan to sae sorry for wad i did..and you are really a true friend indeed,i have nt regretted being chose you to be my friend..hais...hahax...elvis PRESLEY..lolx...although sometimes i call you presley or yeo..but i really think that you are also a person who would lend your ears to other people and you are really a gd friend to me..i enjoy with you the times we spent together...sometimes wif you alvan and jerome...we 4 would play basketball together...and i can also see you also treat relationship very serious and impt..haha..i wont regret being your friend..altough we didnt go out tt much..but you have sort of impacted me too...by your anger adn character...nice guy to be with..haha..and lastly..jerome...haha...i know that now we having cold war..hais..but i know that since primary school...we had seen each other..thats why u had gave me a deep impression..i really sorry for wad i did...i still would rmb the times we walk home together and to talk at the staircase under your block...and the problems that the both of us shared..you are a true friend indeed..trustworthy...haha...NOW..i shall give a overall impression of the 7 of them..they are trustworthy nice helpful caring loyal and enthusiastic...yahz...i am really glad that i have this 7 person in my life.sometimes things i really wan to let it go..i know that once i let it go.it would never come back AGAIN.i am so scared and afraid..but at the same time..its really hard for me to let it go...wad can i do...its really my choices..i have to make a decision fast..i know once i let it go..many would rejoice and be happy..because i know...esp mh..she is so sad and stressed over me by wad i did..still have to ask cheng to help her to reply me..i know she doesnt wan to talk to me or see me...thats why i have already choose not to sms her so often...now i think i starting not to sms her day by day...and me by not going church..so that she would not be able to see me..she can focus on serving God more...and also people wont sae that i go to church because of her..then she would feel better..i know i have cause her so much troubles..i am really sorry for wad i did..maybe letting it go is really your wishes?but i had nvr had such feelings and would not go to such extent for a girl like you..i know ppl may sae that i am stupid and stubborn..but i know that as long as you are happy..it doesn't mean anything if how much i did..i know that no matter wad i wan to sae...u would nt know it...coz all is deep inside me...i have too much to sae...i start to get tired after typing for so long...but you are the only one that can change and influence me very much..wif you..i believe that i have change to a better person since my pri sch character...its like 2 diff sides..i be happy for you as long as you are happy..it doesn't matters to me if i am injured or sad..i dun mind sacrificing everything juz to make you be a happy person..as for now...i can only be your guardian angel..where i can only see you be happy..but i really wan to exp your woes..hais..nvm..i know its impossible...so its useless for me to sae anything...
i be back to post once i have time and energy..see ya:)