♥ Welcome
Friday, December 08, 2006
9:25:00 AM
whoa..really a long time i never come in and blog liao..since i am waiting to MEET her..hais...den i shall take this time and blog lo...hmm...last sunday and yesterday working..then i have no time to online all these stuffs..haha..but mon to wed i was playing o2jam with liling serene and yanyu..hahax..i think next time they will be better than me..its JUST A MATTER OF TIME..hais.it carries alot meaning if i caps..hahx..and ma not related to the subject..yahz..and later i think playing basketball whole day lo...tmr maybe might be a boring day for me..hais..when then i can withstand all these things in my mind? although all these things were hard or difficult for me..but i still try to make time and everything for you that i can..so that you wont feel guilty or wad..but hais..never mind la...i also get used to it le..so be it lo..let it be this way..hais..i also dunno wad i did or other people did would make me feel happier or wad..maybe all these things still remains and my mindset and thinking is still the same..just really wan to get back to the times where we all can chat at night thru sms..hais...those were my happiest days..hais..i send one sms..she replies back...to other people a replied sms of yes or no or a word may mean nothing..although i feel that sometimes it not that worthy to send a sms just a word...but...everything she send really means alot to me.. forget it la..i post here..because i really want to tell God..what i really feel or think...i think she also wont look at my blog..because..wad i think she also wont care so much about me le..and she is so busy..hais...'hao bu rong yi' den can meet her..hais..think also no one will see my blog..because only she and maisie knows my blog..and this shall be the conversation that i can really tell God everything..hais...when then we can get back to those nights??i really look forward to it..hais...although sometimes or everytime you dun care for me...but i really will be there for you..i mean it..but you just choose not to tell me anything den i also dunno you got problems..hais...my life everything is so complicated...why muz it only happens to me??who knows my ''xinku-ness'' that i really feeling right now...hais..but one thing that i am so convicted..i really wont give up..because i TRULY believe that perserverance is the key to success...its just a matter of time. i really dun mind doing everything for her..hais..thats my character..no one cant change me de la..but really can hope she can really feel wad i did for her is that i really genuinely 100% really care for her..hais...when i was at miss chin's wedding last sat..i was thinking of the 2 two of them in the pictures and everything they took..WOW...its just so nice...and i really hope the ONEDAY would be juz me and her...although ppl might sae its impossible..but to me.. '' WITH GOD EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE '' yes..i really agree..AMEN!..hais..i knew this year was a hard and difficult year for me..and i think the rest of the year would be even worst ba..hais..and one more thing..i think most probably i am changing church liao...hais..because of so many things...firstly..is because of my leaders in my group...they choose not to put me in any clc...kick me out of dmm..dun choose me to be games comm. or team leader..everything cant find me must find her..its like...all these things happen to me in like 2 months- 4 months? you think i still able to take it?plus my outside problems..who knows my '' xinku-ness '' ...and the second thing is that when i not i the church...she would not be able to see me..and thus will not be reminded of me..and then she can focus more on God..rather than see me le then feel very insecure and pressurised..hais...i sacrificed..and it just can solve two major things...isnt that good?i think this is the only way out for me..but i got my ministry..how am i supposed to leave...hais..die le la..think i cant leave the church..because i am serving quite a number of roles in the MM team..i think my blog should end around here le bahz...i think i have wrote quite alot of things here le..and the entry is quite long also...shall blog again if i got time lo..see ya.." HOPE TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE AHEAD " =D