♥ Welcome
Saturday, November 18, 2006
7:13:00 AM
these few days had happened alot of things to me..really..i really thinks that everything is just caused by me..the only one..which cause everyone to be so worried and upset..hais..really wan to say sorry to the people that i have implicated..really very sorry..to me now..hmm..i think that no matter wad i do..or even i really die le..the result and the fact will still remain there..hais..but does anyone know the kind of feeling and suffering that i am going through? but never mind..because i choose not to tell anyone my feelings..sometimes its just better to hide it from others and you juz try to be hapy in class and everyone would juz feel happy for you.in fact..i still like her but hais..juz dunno how to put into words...my feelings just on and off.how i wish that i can live in the future now.yah.so much things happening..and it also hurts me very deeply and it also leave a scar which can never be erase from it again.but everything just goes on..thats life.i have to face the reality of life and hope to start leadin a hapier life..but..with her presence..i will till try my very best to be happy and be myself.no matter wad.its still you..ya.you may not know or anyone also may not know how much you matter in my heart..but i juz wan tell you that i have really felt the kind of true love that other people felt.from now onwards..yah..i wont do those stupid things and i juz let things flow on its own..there is nothing i can do now.wad i do will only make matters worse.i really hope that day will come.my friends will support me de..right?hope so..but some still wan to oppose me..hais..never mind la..it is life..there will have some people supporting as well as some people opposing you..yah.and true friends will only reveals when big things really happens to you.but in the future..no matter what would the kind of result come out.i am now prepared for it.i must really learn to take things in stride and to be calm even when i get the worst reuslt that i wont want to get..but all i just leave it to God..i believe that he will help me..yah..and i really feel so guilty..i really neglected God through my tough times..and..without his help..my life is in such a mess..i believe that God will really strengthen and make me be a better person..sometimes i really dunno wad to sae to make people believe me..the only word i can sae is "undying"..if you knew wad i am saying..i believe you should know wad i am really feeling right now..one hand feeling xin ku..other hand is feeling happy...contradicting right?hais..i alo dunno how to tell people about my feelings..i juz cant help it..i tried my best to be a better person..everything or wad i do will eventually leads to a better reuslts..i muz believe and trust that there will be a better result..because i dont believe it..how will it able to come true one day..yeah?hais...later still got basketball friendly match competition..think i am not able to get into school team le..another thing that worries me..the coach seems unhappy about me..andi really dunno wad to do...i really wants to play for the team and get something out from my cca...everything i just leave it to you God..i believe you will prune me to be a better person.later i hope the match..coach will put me in to play..all the best chuanjie.Go!..hais...muz buck up in everything i do le..everyone is catching up..things are just so competitive..yah...shall end off here...really so long didnt come in to blog..sorry...quite busy or lazy sometimes to blog...yah..bye.shall blog later or tmr if i still got time.